


Jinyoung found his way back home

by becharlatan



Category: B1A4
Genre: M/M, Platonic jinchan, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, intimate shinyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:50:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3505688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becharlatan/pseuds/becharlatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after the disbandment, Jinyoung got sick. Chansik is terrified that Jinyoung couldn't remember him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jinyoung found his way back home

**Author's Note:**

> So the fic is surprisingly long. The italicized are the things that happened in the past. It's easy to follow, don't worry. This has a few medical basis, but purely fictional. Jinchan here is daddy/baby relationship.

When B1A4 disbanded after Chansik’s military service, and pulling off two more tours and one more album when he came back, they got their own separate lives. Junghwan pursued being a singer, he sang ballads and slow songs in events, stages and continued working as a solo performer. Sunwoo, on the other hand, produced albums in hip hop, rap and pop, and at the same time opened a store of custom caps and hats somewhere in Gangnam. As for Chansik, he went back to his province and decided to teach Math in high school students. 

After all, they’re on their own. Their seemingly normal dreams once are their lives now. 

Chansik just woke up from staying up late checking test papers last night when his phone rang. He clutched onto it lazily and smiled at his younger brother snuggling beside him under the sheets. His brother hid under the pillow from the noise. 

“Hello?” 

“Channie!” 

“Junghwan-hyung!” 

\+ 

It took him two hours of a bus ride, a few minutes of walk before he reached a shabby soft drinks store where Junghwan had texted Chansik for them to meet. He scanned around and smiled at the warm sun rays touching his skin through his straw hat. He wandered his eyes around looking for a sign of his hyungs when he spotted a well built man wearing a black monochrome cap with a BANA text stitched on it. Behind him appeared Junghwan, he’s well built now too, thanks to the military service and he’s even more manly now, but still girly when beside Sunwoo, he noted. 

“Hyung!” 

“Channie!” Junghwan and Sunwoo shouted in unison. Chansik tried to roll his eyes but he’d never seen his two crazy hyungs for a long time and he can’t just hide how excited he has become, so he settled on just smiling at them and nodding at their teases.

“So who else are we waiting for?” Chansik asked as he fixed his straw hat and looked up at the standing Sunwoo before him.

“A call.” Sunwoo replied as he handed Chansik a popsicle. 

“A call?” Chansik asked and Sunwoo nodded, pointing at Junghwan who’s standing outside the store for better reception. 

“Are we meeting Jinyoung-hyung? This is his province right? Why did you suddenly want to meet?” Chansik bombarded Sunwoo questions that Sunwoo looked at him skeptically, trying to digest each question, one by one. Sunwoo didn’t know how to answer Chansik because it’s a long story to begin with, but when he’s about to open his mouth to stutter out coherent, logical explanations, Junghwan aided at his side.

“Dongwoo-hyung said we can go now,” Junghwan said and Chansik nodded before slinging his backpack up and stood beside Junghwan. He didn’t fail to notice how Sunwoo and Junghwan exchanged unweary looks, mostly from Sunwoo. Junghwan, on the other hand, just stared at him and cringed his face. 

Chansik found himself lost most of the time, on his own because he knew something is fishy and certainly he’s not included. 

\+ 

“Hey." 

“Hmm?” 

“We’ll be having visitors,” Dongwoo said and the man sitting on the chair, holding a book, unfolded his legs. 

“Visitors? We never had visitors."

Dongwoo nodded and leaned down to press a kiss on Jinyoung’s forehead after pushing the bangs back. Jinyoung blinked, and smiled. “Sunwoo, Junghwan and Chansik are coming." Dongwoo explained as he looked at Jinyoung intently.

“Sunwoo and Junghwan? They're coming?"

Dongwoo nodded. Jinyoung beamed and stood up to dash to their bedroom for a change of clothes. Dongwoo sighed and fished his phone to call Junghwan and the rest. As he listened to it ring, he wondered how ever the three of them will accept the change. When Junghwan answered, he figured they'll take it better than he did three years ago.

+  
_  
Dongwoo worked for WM as a vocal coach and a choreographer, while Jinyoung worked as a composer for the new groups’ songs. It was a perfect life and the entertainment was happy to have them. They would meet Sunwoo and Junghwan once in a while and would visit Chansik on their free time._

_All is too well until Dongwoo realises that Jinyoung’s staying late for work, composing songs endlessly, writing and scribbling words that may seem impossible when you look at it most of the time. He didn’t mind it at first since he’s used to Jinyoung working so hard during their time but it started worrying him when Jinyoung’s lean figure turned thinner and skinnier, the dark circles under his eyes grew bigger, and his beaming, bright face turned sulked. Dongwoo would often pull him out the studio, out the building just to make him rest and sleep. It worked sometimes, and if there comes a time it wouldn’t work, Dongwoo would use force just to make sure Jinyoung would rest. He would literally shove Jinyoung off the chair, pull the headset off and storm out the building pulling Jinyoung with him._

_Dongwoo then realised that work is pressuring Jinyoung too much than ever. He panicked when he saw Jinyoung hunched, crying on the music sheets, fingers red and in pain after playing with the piano keys for god knows how long, one night. Jinyoung looked at him, eyes blood-red swollen and puffed and Dongwoo frowned at how terrible Jinyoung had looked._

_He carried the crying figure in his arms and dashed back home. In the entire trip, Jinyoung slept shaking in the passenger's seat, Dongwoo held to him, assuring him everything will be all right._  
  
\+ 

Jinyoung heard a knock and he looked at Dongwoo across the living room. His legs are folded under him and he’s holding a fox stuffed toy in his arms. He’s still thin and beaming, and not to mention pretty. Still the beautiful Jinyoung despite the age of 35. He keeps his natural hair color now, and likes to hold onto his fox stuffed toy always, especially when expecting visitors. 

Dongwoo approached the door and looked at Jinyoung.

“Open it, open it, open it.” Jinyoung stuttered and Dongwoo fixed his glasses. He smiled softly and turned the knob. 

+  
_  
“I think the pressure from work had been too much for him,” the psychiatrist explained and Dongwoo looked at Jinyoung through a glass window. "Alongside of course with fatigue, stress and not to mention depression."_

_"Depression?"_

_Jinyoung was inside a room with walls covered with cushions. He was sitting at one corner, hiding under the pillows, protecting himself from the light while talking to himself with words, reciting lines that Dongwoo figured came from his compositions._

_“From the looks of it,” the psychiatrist said, “I think it started even before you disbanded. I am most certain he’s having this series and panics when B1A4 is still alive.”_

_“You mean to say, he has it already then? He's depressed even before? But he doesn't look like it." Dongwoo found himself biting his tongue after that. Jinyoung didn't look like he's depressed, well, who would in their right minds admit that they're actually depressed? Dongwoo shivered._

_The psychiatrist nodded and Dongwoo shook his head as he looked at Jinyoung still hiding under the pillow and not wanting to look outside. "I don't understand."_  
  
\+ 

“Hyung!” All three of them exclaimed in unison gleefully. Sunwoo entered first followed by Junghwan and Chansik. Dongwoo welcomed them and they all laid their bags down, just beside the door. Dongwoo motioned them towards the living room and Chansik was the first to ran towards Jinyoung while Junghwan and Sunwoo stood beside as they watch the two reunited after a long time. 

Chansik latched like a koala on Jinyoung’s shoulders making the older squeak and drop the stuffed toy. He panicked and tried to reach for his toy while struggling under Chansik’s hold. 

The younger man is still oblivious of what’s happening, hugged their former leader tighter and sinked his nose in the crook of Jinyoung’s neck. 

“Hyung! I’ve missed you.” Chansik said, all energetic and bubbly. Jinyoung however, is ignoring him and focused on reaching for the toy. 

“Don’t you miss me hyung?" Chansik asked and Jinyoung started to panic frantically that he tried getting off Chansik’s hug. Chansik pulled him closer instead and was surprised when Jinyoung pushed him off harshly with a loud scream. Junghwan fidgeted beside Dongwoo and Sunwoo gulped at the sudden change of atmosphere.

Jinyoung gazed at Chansik with wide eyes. Chansik looked at him confused and worried that he was unable to stutter out words. It is as if he's staring at a different Jinyoung, a different person. He didn’t understand why Jinyoung had acted like that towards him but it sure isn’t nice, if something, it sure made him feel worried and uncomfortable towards Jinyoung. Chansik saw how Jinyoung trembled and he pulled himself away their leader. He fell silent and Jinyoung scooted away from him in response. 

Dongwoo hurried beside Jinyoung and helped him to get up. He looked at Chansik apologetically who’s staring blankly at Jinyoung. 

“Hey, why don’t we get you some fresh air, yeah?” Dongwoo said as he hugged Jinyoung and tried to assure Chansik that everything’s all right with a quick look. 

Jinyoung nodded, hugging the stuffed toy and latching into Dongwoo as he jerked off away the couch. He clung to Dongwoo’s arms as they walked towards the backyard. Sunwoo followed Dongwoo while Junghwan sat beside Chansik to hug him as comfort. 

“Did you see how horrified he looked?” Chansik whispered, “He looked like he saw a monster... Hyung, he looked at me as if I was a monster."

Junghwan fell silent but hugged Chansik instead. He didn't know exactly where to start.

+

Jinyoung sat on one of the bunk chairs at the porch. He hugged his stuffed toy and looked at Dongwoo who's smiling widely at him. Dongwoo sat beside him, and held his hand. "You couldn't remember Chansik?"

Jinyoung looked away from the fields to stare at him. "Who's Chansik? He kept me from hugging my plushie!" Jinyoung reasoned and Dongwoo furrowed his eyebrows at him. He let out a sigh and felt a hand draped over his right shoulder. Dongwoo looked up and saw Sunwoo half- beaming and half-worried at him.

"Jinyoung," Dongwoo began in a more calmer and milder voice, "Sunwoo came to visit too."

Jinyoung looked up as well and grinned at Sunwoo. "Did you bring your caps with you? I like it when you rap!" He exclaimed happily and Sunwoo nodded before settling on Jinyoung's left side. 

"I like it when you..." Sunwoo was lost for words when Dongwoo eyed him carefully, "Uh, I like it when you play with your plushie." He said hurriedly and Dongwoo looked flat. Sunwoo couldn't think of any answer to counter Jinyoung. He's aware that he can't mention about songs and composition and singing, and that was the first thing that popped in his mind.

Jinyoung beamed like a kid and pressed the puppy in Sunwoo's face. "See? We all love the plushie but that Chansik person! Why is he here?"

Dongwoo frowned and pressed a kiss on Jinyoung's cheek before leaving the two catch up. Sunwoo looked at him from behind and averted his gaze back to Jinyoung who's telling stories about mountain climbings and balloons and tea parties.

+  
_  
"Hyung?"_

_"Junghwan," Dongwoo breathed against the receiver and Junghwan furrowed his brows._

_"Are you all right? It's 2 in the morning. What's wron-"_

_"Can you and Sunwoo come over? Like right now? Take the first scheduled bus available and go here." Dongwoo's voice started to tremble and Junghwan quickly got up, turned on the lights and tried to snap his mind._

_"I'll pay for you guys later when you get here. I-I just need you two here right now."_

_Junghwan asked for anything they can bring and after a few tries, both him and Sunwoo are seated on the first two seats on a bus going to Chungju. They were silent and so is the trip but when they got at Dongwoo and Jinyoung's house at 6 in the morning, they both looked worried at how Dongwoo's eyes turned weak and lost and how the dark circles under his eyes are big like of a panda's. They saw Jinyoung sitting outside, hugging his legs to his chest and singing a song composed of different lines from all their songs._

_"He's been like that for three nights straight," Dongwoo explained as Junghwan aided beside him and Sunwoo dashed beside Jinyoung._

_Jinyoung stopped singing and looked at the man standing beside him._

_"Sunwoo?" Jinyoung asked and Sunwoo looked at Dongwoo asking for affirmation. Dongwoo nodded and held onto Junghwan who pressed his hand back assuringly._

_"Sunwoo!" Jinyoung beamed as he got up and hugged the rapper. Sunwoo hugged back and looked at Dongwoo who's smiling bitterly at them._

_"He's been wanting to see you two," Dongwoo said to Junghwan._

_"What about Chansik? Doesn't he want to see Chansik too?"_

_Dongwoo frowned and saw Sunwoo ruffled Jinyoung's hair like how Jinyoung used to do that to the kids. "He's sick Junghwan. He only remembers you two, us, and never Chansik."_

+

Dongwoo went back inside and saw Junghwan guiding Chansik towards the kitchen. He tried to put on a smile as he followed them. 

"I see you two are starving," Dongwoo commented and Chansik turned to tackle Dongwoo and hug him like a five-year old kid.

"Umpf," Dongwoo let out a sound and Chansik burried his face in Dongwoo's neck. "I'm not sure how your parents can handle a prat like you." He added and Junghwan laughed while washing the strawberries they bought from a fruit stand a while ago.

"Hyung," Chansik said as he continued hugging Dongwoo, "What happened to Jinyoung-hyung, does he hate me?" Dongwoo looked at Chansik and saw how the boy fought the urge to cry and the voice to sound shaky.

Dongwoo cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss on his forehead like a mom united with her child. Chansik enjoys being with his hyungs, they were like a family back then, when B1A4 was still alive. Junghwan and Sunwoo were his witty brothers--playful and always crazy; Dongwoo was their mom, keeping them sane through busy schedules, reminding them to get at least 8 hours of sleep, steal power naps and eat a complete meal; and Jinyoung their dad, who nags about aiming to be best but keeping their feet on their ground, who stays up late to write songs that will make it to the charts, who pets Chansik almost every time and any time of the day because Jinyoung knows how much Chansik loves it deep inside when being treated like the maknae.

Dongwoo smiled at him as he guided Chansik to sit down. Junghwan brought them a bowl of strawberries and green tea. "Jinyoung is not mad at you, Chansik," Dongwoo said as he pressed a slice of strawberry inside Chansik's mouth. "Jinyoung-hyung is sick."

Chansik almost froze as he heard Sunwoo talking to Jinyoung. They walked back inside the house. He looked intently into Dongwoo's eyes for answers to his unspoken questions. Jinyoung sat between Chansik and Dongwoo and looked at Chansik with a full smile. Chansik looked lost but returned the gaze.

"Hi. Sunwoo told me you're _their_ great friend." Jinyoung siad, reaching out a hand, "My name's Jinyoung, I'm _their_ friend too and here's Dongwoo, he's my husband."

Chansik didn't know whether to reach out a hand or flinch, but he reached out gladly and shook Jinyoung's hand lightly. Jinyoung smiled and pressed himself to Dongwoo to be fed with some strawberries. Junghwan sat across the table and Sunwoo sat beside him. He drank to his tea slowly and eyed his hyungs and their maknae on the other side. He looked at Chansik and cheered him with beaming eyes. Chansik took it and smiled weakly.

Jinyoung munched happily and started telling stories about the dogs they once saw while going to the market, or the kids he played tag with the last time. Junghwan told stories about his trips and Sunwoo shared his incidents about handling different kinds of customers and their hats. Chansik noticed that nobody mentioned anything about singing, music and their old life, and he followed thoroughly well not to ask about it because Dongwoo did mention that Jinyoung is sick. But somewhere in his stomach, it started bubnling, twisting and turning and he just wanted to disappear.

"What do you do for living Chansik?" Jinyoung asked as he looked at Chansik and the latter looked at him cautiously. How can be this the same Jinyoung he knew? How can be the person sitting next to him is the same Jinyoung he would hug, he would tell his worries with, he would whine for milk and cucumber kimchi when he's homesick? How can he be the same Jinyoung if Jinyoung can't remember him at all?

"I'm a Math teacher," Chansik croaked and Jinyoung nodded before absently pressing a strawberry slice in Chansik's closed lips. He eyed his hyungs, taking in approvals or warnings of some sort and when he saw all three of them nod and smile he took the fruit willingly before standing up, apologizing that he need to make a phone call and rushed out the kitchen. 

Jinyoung didn't mind and instead, took a sip on his tea. Dongwoo pressed a kiss on Jinyoung's cheek and excused himself too. Junghwan and Sunwoo aided Jinyoung and all three of them started chatting again.

Jinyoung didn't seem to notice that Sunwoo and Junghwan are exchanging bemused looks and worried stares at their former leader. They both pray that today will just pass normally like they used to.

+  
_  
"Hyung?"_

_"Channie?" Jinyoung turned around to face the young man squeaking weakly through the door. He smiled and looked at the sleepy man who's rubbing his eyes and making a series of yawns. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I can't sleep." Chansik reasoned as he stepped inside the studio and sat on the couch. He looked around for a pillow or a blanket but found none. He stared back at the man who was busy composing._

_Jinyoung smiled as he turned back to the screen, saved the files and turned off the computer quickly. Chansik followed him with his gaze, trying to make his eyes wide open despite the sleepiness, as Jinyoung stood up, unzipped his jacket and sat beside him on the couch. He wrapped the jacket around Chansik and pulled him in a snuggle so he's lying comfortably on the couch with his head resting on Jinyoung's chest._

_"And you decided to travel back here from the dorm so you can beam your puppy eyes and ask me to sing you a lullaby?" Jinyoung teased and Chansik nodded, after letting another yawn._

_"I was alone there, thanks to your schedules." Chansik whine playfully and Jinyoung pinched his cheek._

_"I'm sorry for being a perfectionist and staying up late composing. Okay, I'm all yours, go to sleep."_

_"Is Dongwoo-hyung coming over?"_

_Jinyoung snorted and pulled the jacket up to Chansik's chin. "Yes, after his filming, he'll come pick me up. He'll be here in a few hours."_

_Chansik nodded and closed his eyes. "I want some strawberry milk."_

_"This is not some slumber party Channie. Sleep." Jinyoung smiled and caressed his cheek._  
  
+

He tried looking for the silver lining but the only thing he saw are fields and mountain ridges with the blue sky painting the landscape perfectly. Chansik leaned against the railing. He saw how the view inside looked so cozy and comfortable and felt like home.

Dogwoo popped out carrying a carton of strawberry milk and smiled at him. He took it gladly and pushed the straw into the hole.

"You okay?" Dongwoo asked, leaning against the railing and eyeing Chansik carefully.

"No."

"It was difficult the first time too," Dongwoo said.

"He woke in the middle of the night crying and gasping terribly for air. He said he didn't know me and tried running away." Dongwoo explained and pointed the ground out. Chansik's eyes widen.

"He jumped from here? He could've died!" 

"I rushed him to the hospital. After three days, he woke up and clung to me like a koala. He remembered me after then."

"Since when?" Chansik asked, finishing his milk and feeling sad about what had happened.

"Just a year ago, his anxiety worsened and the doctor said he was depressed even before with all the stress," Dongwoo said. "He's having delusions and mixed personalities because he was depressed. He will forget you at first but he will remember you."

Chansik found himself nodding. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Dongwoo looked at him and smiled brokenly, "You _are_ our baby," Dongwoo chirped, latching an arm around Chansik's fidgeting shoulders. "Besides, I'm sure Jinyoung wouldn't like it when he found out that we hand you the news first hand. You know he doesn't like you getting stressed."

Chansik laughed and nodded. "I wanna see him."

+  
_  
The first time they saw each other was in the practice hall was when they all gathered after announcing who made it in the band. Chansik hid behind his curly hair, his unique pair of asymmetrical eyes are really his asset, aside from his age, of course._

_Jinyoung smiled at him and Chansik felt smiling back despite being acquaintances. Junghwan and Sunwoo are talking already, warming up and Chansik doesn't really know how to start a conversation but Jinyoung scooted beside him and offered a bottle of water._

_"You look exhausted," Jinyoung remarked and Chansik looked at him, a bit weird out._

_"I'm Chansik," Chansik didn't really understand why he had to do that._

_But Jinyoung smiled like it was normal and it made Chansik feel assured that it's all right. "I'm. Jinyoung-hyung. You're our maknae."_

_Chansik smiled._  
  
+

After a hearty lunch, a short trek and tour around the town, they prepared dinner and ate joyously. There was nothing different from the old and the new Jinyoung, Chansik noticed. He would still offer his food to Junghwan, pressed some napkin on Sunwoo's mouth and laughed at Dongwoo's lame jokes. Chansik didn't mind how close yet so distant they are from one another.

When it was time to go to bed, Chansik didn't fail to say good nights to his hyungs and did it felt like they were back to their old dorm. 

That night, Chansik couldn't sleep. All things that happened today had been a total ransack in his mind. He was still stunned that Jinyoung is having an illness.

He opened his eyes and played with his blanket, thinking of anything he can do to help his hyung. He could transfer in Chungju to work here instead so he can help Dongwoo in taking care of Jinyoung. He thought of all possible things and was in deep thought that he wanted to move around, stretch his legs and breathe in some fresh air.

Chansik creeped out the room quietly, careful not to wake Sunwoo and Junghwan. He sat on a couch at the porch and admired the raven black sky dotted with twinkling stars. 

He smiled at the sight and slightly shivered at the cold wind.

"Channie," Chansik heard a voice and turned to his side to see Jinyoung standing by the entry way. He's wrapped in blankets and smiled at Chansik who's blinking at him nonstop.

"H-hyung," Chansik croaked, raspy because it's the first time today that Jinyoung had called him by his nickname.

Jinyoung smiled and sat beside him, wrapping the other half of the blanket around Chansik. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on bed?"

Chansik couldn't just answer him. Everything is just too much. Chansik's afraid of what could happen without Dongwoo or the others to come to their aid if something might happen. He didn't know that it took him so long to answer when Jinyoung snapped at him.

"Gong Chansik!" 

Chansik blinked and looked at him. Jinyoung is wrapped under the blanket, his hair as black as the sky and skin as smooth as pearl in the deep blue sea. He missed his hyung and he definitely missed the times where they do things that they are actually familiar to one another. Wait, he didn't mention about his surname awhile ago...does it mean?

"Hyung? What did you call me?"

+  
_  
"I don't want to take my meds."_

_Dongwoo tried to fight the groan and looked at Jinyoung who's shivering at the edge of the bed. He's holding the pills in his hands, staring at the pink and white capsules as if they're little insects going to bite them._

_"But you have to," Dongwoo said as he knelt beside and cupped Jinyoung's face. The thin man looked at him with teary eyes._

_"But it makes me think that I'm nearing my death every time I take them."_

_Dongwoo pressed a kiss on his forehead. "Will you drink it, for me?"_

_Jinyoung nodded and looked at Dongwoo with dreaded and weak eyes. "They're becoming figments too, Dongwoo. I'm losing them everyday."_

_He looked at the man he chose to spend his life with, at how the once energetic and witty Jinyoung has turned into a baby, all scared and confused. He stood up and sat beside Jinyoung to envelop him in a hug._

_"You will remember it again, just like when you remembered me. It will be okay. It can take time, I'm sure they'll understand."_

_"But what if I won't? What if I'll be sick forever?"_

_"I'm sure you will, you didn't forget me, did you?" Jinyoung nodded to that and Dongwoo hugged him tighter._

_"If you remember each and everyone of them even just by name, then I'm sure everything will be okay." Dongwoo tried to assure, not even convinced with his own words, but when Jinyoung nodded in his embrace he felt quite relieved that Jinyoung will be better. He had to make himself believe that everything will be all right._

_"I will never forget all four of you."_  
  
+

"Channie," Jinyoung said in an almost like whisper only the two of them can hear. "Why are you here? You should be sleeping."

"I'm already 33 hyung, I'm a big boy." Chansik said in a serious tone which should sounded more of a joke but Chansik couldn't muster all his strength and make everything funny because he's confused and lost sitting next to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung nodded but plastered a playful smile on his face. "I know you're a big boy, but you're still our baby, Channie."

Jinyoung pulled him closer and hugged him tighter. "I'm sorry it took me a while."

"Are you all right now? I completely understand." Chansik said after he pulled away from the hug. He saw the sad look in Jinyoung's eyes and he panicked that he might said something wrong. 

"I took my meds, I'm getting better." Jinyoung replied and he searched for Chansik's hand under the blanket. "I was scared this might happen."

Chansik looked at him with a small smile. "You getting sick?"

"No," Jinyoung replied and Chansik looked at him confused. "Me forgetting the rest of you. Especially you."

+  
_  
"Can you explain it to me again?" Dongwoo sat on the chair and clenched his fists on his lap as the psychiatrist fixed his coat and looked at all three of them. Dongwoo had brought Junghwan and Sunwoo with them the next day after he called for them to come._

_"He's repressing all memories that caused him anxiety and depression."_

_"B1A4 had caused him depression? I don't get it." Junghwan asked abruptly and Sunwoo took his fidgeting hands._

_"But he's all smiles and work and takes good care of us, I don't understand." Sunwoo added and it's Junghwan who squeezed their hands tightly._

_"Depressed people are always in denial," the psychiatrist told them. "And Jinyoung's case is quite rare. Usually, depressed people have a tendency to hurt themselves, attempts suicide and prefers to be alone. But his case is different."_

_Dongwoo nodded as he leaned against the backrest and tried to digest things. Just the thought of Jinyoung attempting to hurt himself is just unbearable._

_"He's repressing his memories just to divert his depressions."_

_"Repressing?" Sunwoo croaked. "Erasing them?"_

_"Mr. Cha, think of it as hiding them and forgetting where'd you place the key," the psychiatrist explained._

_"Will he remember those memories again?" Junghwan asked even though what he wanted to ask goes along with Will he remember me again?_

_"Of course, that's what the meds are for. He's aware of the repression, because he himself will find it more troubling, and he will eventually portray a different character when faced with people he used to know but forgets. That's completely normal._

_"Just calm down, let him breathe, help him by playing alongside with him. Being there for him. Slowly tell him your memories, his memories, his idol-life, your relationships, your hobbies. You have to take time._

_"It may seem impossible, at first, but I assure you, Jinyoung wants nothing but to regain his memories of all of you back."_  
  
+

Jinyoung got up and pulled Chansik with him. Chansik followed, not even uttering out a word because it felt just like the old times where they would snuck out the room, with Jinyoung leading him towards the kitchen or the near store just around the corner to get some food.

"Are you hungry? I'm starving." Jinyoung asked as he pushed Chansik down the couch in the living room and left the blanket around the younger. Chansik only nodded as reply and Jinyoung disappeared with a smile.

Chansik thought waking his hyungs up, inform them that Jinyoung is at the kitchen and he's not quite sure whether Jinyoung has fully remembered him. He watched as the figure came back, carrying a tray of cookies and glasses of strawberry milk.

"Strawberry milk?" Jinyoung offered and Chansik couldn't hide the content and excitement and bliss because he knows Jinyoung knows his favorite in the entire world. He literally latched himself on Jinyoung and Jinyoung placed the tray on the table quickly and carefully before hugging the younger man back.

"Hyung, you remembered!" Chansik bawled and tears fell nonstop across his cheeks. "I thought you wouldn't remember me!"

Jinyoung hugged him tighter, running his hand at Chansik's back assuringly. "I'm sorry it took me some time."

+

Dongwoo woke up the next morning searching for warmth but he opened his eyes wide when he noticed that Jinyoung's not beside him. He's the one who always gets up first and he got up quickly just to make sure everything is all right.

He heard noises and he smiled at the sound of Chansik laughing followed by teasing and chirping from Sunwoo and Junghwan. He went to see all his former bandmates and friends gathered at the porch, with Junghwan and Sunwoo leaning against the railing, feasting on their pancakes while Chansik is curled beside Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung looked up as he felt Dongwoo's arms wrapped around his shoulders. Dongwoo pressed a kiss on his temple and Jinyoung beamed happily.

Chansik smiled at him, stuffing mango slices in his mouth. Dongwoo smiled back and sat beside Jinyoung who kissed his cheeks as a good morning greet. He need not to ask anymore because from the looks of it, Jinyoung has remembered who Chansik was. He remembered everything they used to do together, everything from trainings, to practices, to night outs and here, in this home with their new lives.

Jinyoung laughed at every stories, tried to recall all things, the smiles, the hardships and the time that each and every member has been there for him. He held into Dongwoo's hand as hey eat their happy breakfast.

Chansik leaned closer and whispered, "Welcome home Jinyoung hyung. Welcome home." 

Jinyoung looked at him and ruffled his hair. This sure felt _normal_ and definitely home.


End file.
